Friends? Who are these people? These are the creatures that will steal one out of the three prawns in your char kuey teow and laugh about it in your face. Some are like herpes, you can’t get rid of them.
While others are like Batman, only comes out for nightly activities such as drinking. But we all love them with as much as we want to feed them to the wolves. Here are the types of Malaysian friends you probably have.
1. The Delay King (always not punctual) – Most of us have this type of friend. The friend who is always ”on the way” or ”5 minutes will reach”
2. The Bo Jio Friend – The friend that says ”I will stay at home tonight” but will end up going out to some party and their pictures will be all over Facebook and Instagram
3. The Gossip King/Queen – The friend that has all the latest insights of your group of friends. ”You know ah, Andrew is actually gay. Don’t tell anyone ok? Promise?”
4. The Business Friend (MLM) – The friend that always starts with a conversation like these, ” Bro, actually where do you see yourself in 5 years time? Employment sucks right? Hate your boss? Why don’t you start your own business? or ” Hey man, checkout my new ride. You should join me bro, can drive this car like me.”
5. The Hamsap Friend – The friend that always talk about girls in a dirty manner, who also always brings random girl to your group of friends and they probably have a lifetime membership at a brothel. Sometimes they call themself as ”cheongsters”
6. The Rich Friend – The friend that can do anything, any time, anywhere and who probably drives a Continental Car
7. The Broke Friend – The friend that always no money to pay for things. ”Hey bro, can borrow me money? I want to buy cigarettes”
8. The ”Girlfriend” – Basically she’s not attracted to any guy in the group and thinks of them as her brother and also hangs out with them because they’re funny.
9. The Racist Friend – The friend that doesn’t like any other race besides his or hers. ”You look good for an indian ah”, ”You have big eyes for a chinese ah”, ”You are smart for a Malay ah”
10. The Blur Friend – The friend that is always drifting off into space. Probably thinking about tying up Winnie the pooh or something weird like that.
11. The Know It All Friend – The friend that always knows everything about every single inch of a topic. Even when they don’t, the kasi goreng some cerita. This type of friends tend to dominate your conversations.
12. The Friends That Only Call You When They Need Something – The friend that always calls you up when you have something to benefit him/her. Their conversations usually start like this ”Eh, long time no see you. How you been?”
13. The Phone Zombie – The friend that always come out for ”yamcha session”, ends up making out with their phone.
14. The Party Friend – The friend that is always ready for party. Conversations only gets interesting after they are intoxicated. Usually these types of friends are borderline alcoholics.
15. The Gamer Friend – The friend who talks about who he/she pawned in the game last night. Usually the only game they usually talk about is Dota 2, CSGO, and PUBG.
16. The Picky Friend – The friend that only can eat or go to a certain place only. Usually these type of friends are annoying as they only lookout for their own interest.
17. The Emo/Stressed up Friend – The friend that has more problems than Naijib and Rosmah at the current moment.
18. The Facebook Friend – We all know that we have this type of friends. We add them on Facebook but we never talk to them in the real world
19. The Hook up Friend – The friend that can get you anything. ” I know a guy, who knows a friend, who knows a friend, who knows a friend, who knows a friend’s cousin who sells weed.”
20. The Gym Friend – This friend of yours is constantly telling you to hit the gym. According to them, all social problems in your life can be solved if you are jacked. Man’s not hot!!