Living in Bolehland, like it or not, most of us have some uniquely Malaysian behaviors we are totally oblivious to.
From the way we speak to a friend, to how we carry ourselves in a public setting, the “Ultimate Malaysian” traits sneak its way into our way of life.
Instead of fighting it, why don’t we embrace it and admit who we really are.
1. Having a driving license doesn’t mean having freedom. In Malaysia, it simply means being a driver for your friends, your family and your friends ‘punya’ friends
2. When you’re driving, everyone around you is ‘bodoh’,’cibai’, ‘sohai’, or stupid except yourself
3. Difference between Chinese, Malay and Indian/Mamak Restaurants
Chinese Hawkers – Pay first, eat later
Malay stalls/restaurants – Eat first, pay later
Indian/Mamak restaurants – They will ‘kira’ when you’re eating
4. Speaking about Mamak restaurants, we never need a menu when we are at these places because we always order the same god damn thing.
Me: Aneh, ada apa makan? (we ask as if we first time been to mamak)
Aneh: Roti ada, goreng goreng ada, nasi ada(the same answer the aneh will give you)
Me: Hmmmm.. maggie goreng la.. dengan teh ais
5. We also can sit in a mamak for three straight hours by just ordering one teh o ais. Plus nowadays, some Malaysians order ‘WiFi password’ only with ais kosong #cheapmalaysians
6. Western parents vs Malaysian Parents
Western Parents: ”Don’t cry, honey. Everything will be ok. Come I’ll bring you to the toy shop”
Malaysian Parents: ”Cry la! Cry some more! You stay here. I’ll leave you here. Later let apunehneh catch you!!”
7. During festivals or wedding is when you get to meet people you never met in your life and they are apparently part of your family as well.
8. If you heard this from a Malaysian, ”Let’s meet up someday soon”… Do not believe them. The meeting will never happen.
9. How Malaysian guys get a girl’s number
Me: Eh, go ask her number for me lah
Friend: You want her what, you go ask lah
Me: Don’t want lah, I shy. Later she reject how? Die lah
Friend: Ok come let’s go together and you ask her
10. When you and your friend are deciding on what to eat
Me: Eh, what you want to eat?
Friend: Anything lah, you?
Me: Anything also can
We usually end up eating in a mamak
11. In Malaysia, when you are early for something, people will ask you, ”Why you so early lah?”.. And if you are on time, you will be the first to arrive.. And if you are late, you will still be the first to arrive
12. When you hang out with a bunch of friends and take pictures to upload it on Facebook or other social media… you will see comments like ‘bojio, ‘tak ajak’ or ‘senju’
13. We Malaysians have a habit of saying ”you know ah” before they even say what they want to say.
14. Everyone is your aunty and uncle in Malaysia
15. Di mana ada papan ”Dilarang membuang sampah”….. Di situ ada orang Malaysia buang sampah.
16. The reasons why Malaysians wear safety belts while driving..
10% – For Safety
90% – Takut kena saman/Roadblock
17. Whenever a Malaysian goes shopping they will always ask for discounts. If there is no discounts, they will ask for ”free gifts”
Me: This new perodua Myvi advance spec how much?
Car salesman: Advance spec total RM58,000 if you add spoilers is another RM1,200
Me: Oh so means total RM59,200.. Got discount ah?
Car salesman: No discount uncle, this one our best price
Me: The other shop got give me discount, you at least give me something lah. Free gift got anot?
Car salesman: Ok i give you full tank petrol, smart tag and umbrella
18. We have friends who study abroad for 3 months, they come back with an accent that last for 6 years. #bajetmatsalleh
19. Whenever you arrive first and you want to know whether your friend reached the destination you would call him/her, and they usually will say.. ”on the way”
20. If you order rojak, you must order cendol as well. Tercekik nanti then you know.
21. No matter how old you are, the mamak shop waiter is always the anneh(big brother)
22. You constantly need to complain about the gomen and petrol price. Kesian Najib